Monday, May 21, 2012

confessions


Mondays are the hardest day for me to feel motivated. Lets just say today me and babies didn't get dressed and ready for the day until 2:30. Aaaand I didn't get out of bed until 10:00... only to feed babies. I was a bad mom today.

I dream of going to Venice one day with my hubby.

I have a million projects I want to do and although I complain sometimes that I don't have enough time half the time it is because my motivation is on empty.

I'm sick of my hair. I don't want to dye it because that gets pricey having to keep it up, but I don't want to cut it because every time I do I regret it and my hair takes FOREVER to grow back.

I envy people that can write good. I have tons of thoughts and always think "I should blog about that", but when I go sit at my computer and start writing I think "this sounds dumb" and delete it. I am the worst too, at spelling and punctuation (I had to think about that "too" and decide if it needed two o's or one and still don't even know if I got it right :)  so please don't pay to close attention when I write.

I miss my mom terribly. There are so many days I wish I could just hop in a car and go visit her.

I have tried multiple times to stop drinking Diet Coke, but honestly I don't want to stop drinking it. It is so good and some days you just need a Diet Coke and a holiday Reese's to cheer you up.

I am very OCD. When I would visit my dad in the summer and then come back home I could tell if someone had moved something out of it's place, in my room. Obsess much! I have gotten a little bit better, I think but not much.

I want to be a part time photographer. At the moment I am more of a once a month photographer. But now that I have this mom thing down a little better I am slowly working on getting my website presentable. I love making people smile and capturing those special moments, but sometimes get discouraged and think there are so many better photographers out there I should probably just stick to being a full time mom. But now thinking about it, that can be discouraging as well sometimes and I'm not quitting that.

I love being in the pool and can't wait to spend the majority of my summer there this year with babies!

Hope you had a great Monday and were more productive than me!!

7 comments:

Bonnie & Tyler said...

I thought this was an awesome post. You are too a good writer. And punctuation is overrated. I miss-spell things all the time. everyone does. Unless they are perfect, which no one is! If diet coke and a reeses makes you happy, then I say don't give up the things in life that make you happy, life is too short! Love ya girl!
and PS... you are not a bad mom for staying in bed, if you are, then I am the WORST! lol

Lindsey said...

You are an amazing photographer and I want you to really give it a go! Also, I used to think my writing sucked too. The only way it gets better is if you stop deleting everything you write :) I cringe when i read old posts, my writing was awful! But I cringe less and less nowdays, so it's got to mean something is getting better :) You are a great mama and I love and miss you!
xoxo
Linds

Derek and Lisa said...

You are amazing Kayla! I love you!!

Joy in the Journey said...

I loved this post. It reminded me of myself a lot. I think you're a great photographer. You capture the cutest pictures of your little ones. Mondays are hard for me too. Yesterday it was raining so Hannah stayed in jammies all day, and I showered just to put another pair of sweats on, no makeup, and wet hair all day. I think you do an amazing job juggling it all. Keep it up and don't be too hard on yourself.
P.S. New clothes always makes things better :)

Anonymous said...

As I have said a thousand times I think you should really try photography out. You capture children so well! Seriously, some of my fav pics of Alex are the ones you took! I am so lucky I know such a talented lady! I wish I had half your talent!

You are a good mommy! We all have our days. Miss you! Wish I could hop in the car and come see you!

-Mallory W.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure EVERY young mom has thought all those same things!! If I could go back and give my young mom self some advice it'd be, "Self, you are doing an amazing job in all of your roles right now!! Trust me when I say that it REALLY won't be that long before your kids are independent enough that you'll have time AND motivation to do your projects, take more photos, and keep up with your hair!! Right now your roots should be grown out, your hair should be in a ponytail every day, you don't need to worry about make-up (just keep washing and moisturizing your face daily), you should be in comfy clothes almost all the time, you should lay down and close your eyes every chance you get, your house is perfectly fine just picked up and not really clean, and you should definitely have a diet coke and chocolate EVERY day!! Give yourself a pass at this stage of your life. Life with kids changes so dramatically so often that you'll find that the time and motivation to do all those other things will come soon enough. In the meantime, just chill. And LOVE IT!!!"

Ashley said...

You are an awesome photographer! I wish I could take such quality pictures of my boys!

Thanks for the sleeping tips. We've been using a fan at night but we just downloaded a white noise app and have started using that too. They will now generally give us a 5 or 6 hour stretch at night and then it is right back to eating every 2 1/2 to 3 hours or so! Luckily they only nurse at night so feedings are shorter. During the day they will nurse and bottle feed (formula) at some feedings. Plus they are snackers and eat in between "feedings!" They must be doing a lot of growing! I will definitely buy those books you suggested, thanks!

Do you have your twins on a schedule? Meaning they eat at the same time, nap at the same time, play at the same time, etc.? If so, how old were they when the schedule worked? I have always fed my boys at the same time (not "snacking" at the same time though) but that's about the only "schedule" I have. They sometimes nap at the same time but a lot of times one is up while the other naps. I think that their snacking makes it a bit tricky because you never know when they will be hungry!

That is awesome that you get out with your twins often. I'm sure I'll get there with time!